For the first time in a long time, I was actually able to sit through almost all of the Grammy's. The reason I say almost, is because from 9pm to 10pm I was flipping backand forth to Desperate Housewives. I am a sucker for anything that resembles a cheesy evening soap opera like Melrose Place. Just wait until Survivor starts, which is on at the same time as The OC! What's a TV junkie to do? Back to the Grammy's...
Opening act: A montage of many acts featuring Gwen Stefani and Eve to Los Lonely Boys. Did anyone notice that some of the songs sounded like they were a bit slower than the recordings? I think Gwen Stefani slowed down Rich Girl because her heels were SO high, that if the song were any faster she couldn't walk to the beat.
From then on, the awards show actually held my attention. I think the reason that the show is getting good reviews overall, is because this is the first year that the music that was showcased and nominated was actually GOOD music. No Christina Aguliera's performing. You get what I am going at here.
I even sat through the Lynrd Skynrd jam. For those of you that know me, I HATE country music, so when Tim McGraw appears on stage, I am like, oh crap, this should SUCK. But it didn't!
During the performance, I noticed that Gretchen Wilson and Tim McGraw were both dressed in "country chic" which is the staple wardrobe of black jeans and a semi tight black t shirt. But each had the addition of some "bling." And this was specifically located on their ginormous belt buckles. Tim McGraw had a huge rectangle buckle of diamonds with the outline of America in black. Gretchen Wilson's was more the typical belt buckle, but still full of shiny ice.
Hence a new term was born at that moment... If you are wearing all black (jeans and a t shirt) with an iced out belt buckle, you are "SEXY NASCAR".
Here are some other revelations of the night:
Weirdest acceptance speech: Loretta Lynn and Jack White. Why did he keep bowing ot her like a little japanese servant? And what is with the mustache Jack??? And someone give him some shampoo... and a brush.. and a razor... I could go on and on right now.
Most uncomfortable performance moment: An 80 year old James Brown shouting out "I'm a sex machine."
Worst dressed:MALE: Adam Sandler. Hey Happy Gilmore, would it kill you to wear a suit? I mean, you were handing out an award with Nelly, I am sure he has one he can lend you.
FEMALE: It's a tie between Sheryl Crow and her Lance Armstrong inspired yellow dress, and Lisa Marie Presley who looked like she hadn't slept in a month.
Sheryl, Your stylist is your "biggest mistake"
(you can't count Loretta Lynn's purple frock because she is kinda out there and after being coaxed out of semi-retirement, she won a grammy after her last one 33 years ago.)
Performance I couldn't stop watching: J Lo and her 8th(?) husband Marc Anthony. There is this elaborate set, they are singing in spanish, she is pretty and he is just GROSS... And I was waiting for them to eventually burst out in the english version, maybe just the chorus, and NOTHING. So I had no clue what they were crooning about, but yet, I kept watching, waiting, hoping, for the english. I mean, there weren't even any words that were familiar that I could translate. No words like,"...la vida loco" or "la isla bonita".
I also couldn't stop watching because the part of J Lo's dress that helped conceal her booty was so damn SPARKLY! It (the sparkles, not her ass) mesmerized me!
Worst performance: I know it was with all good intention, but the "All Star" version of The Beatles Across the Universe, which is downloadable on I tunes and all proceeds go to aid tsunami victims. TERRIBLE. Nobody looked like they wanted to be there and they butchered the song. I mean, of all the songs to choose to sing? Great idea, bad performance.
Random thoughts: Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day wears more makeup than any girl I know...The president of the Grammy's really shouldn't lecture people on not downloading music when I just watched 3 hours of your show which was chock full of repetitive commercials, screw you buddy... Ray Charles' managers speech was the shortest and most heartfelt...Good thing Stevie Wonder can't see because the jacket he was wearing was HIDEOUS... Props to Melissa Etheridge for rocking out after attending the Grammy's with no hair due to the chemo she is going through for breast cancer...If I hear the Black Eyed Peas sing Let's Get it Started one more time to open up a sporting event or awards show, I WILL shoot myself.
Click here for a complete list of winners!
